16 And when evening came, His disciples went down to the sea, 17 and having entered into the boat, they were going over the sea to Capernaum, and darkness had already come, and Jesus had not come to them, 18 the sea also—a great wind blowing—was being raised, 19 having pushed onward, therefore, about twenty-five or thirty stadia, they behold Jesus walking on the sea, and coming near to the boat, and they were afraid; 20 and He says to them, “I AM; do not be afraid”; 21 they were willing then to receive Him into the boat, and immediately the boat came to the land to which they were going.
John 6:16-21 (Literal Standard Version)
It's getting dark. We are going down to get away from it all. The people, the work, the crowds, the fame, it was all going so good. We thought this is what God wanted.
And then, it wasn't.
In fact, it seems that Jesus left us. Alone. We're sailing to "The Village of Comfort," Capernaum, but we feel like we're in the sea of confusion. Didn't Jesus tell us to go to Bethsaida? What does God want?
Now we're heading off without the Lord, rowing against the wind, and it looks like a spring-time storm is brewing.
Did we miss something?
I’m looking ahead but someone at the front of the boat is looking back and his terrified face looks like he's seen a ghost! I turn around and there is something, someone, walking on water. I know we are three, no four, miles away from shore, the waves are pounding, rolling, but with every flash of lightning, with every beam of moonlight between the clouds, there is an unmistakable figure of a man walking on the waves, drawing closer and coming directly towards us.
Disappointment, confusion, sadness, loneliness, all now melt into a horrifying scream of fear, louder than the wind, echoed only by the pounding of the heartbeats from my chest.
All that I have given up, all the acts of love and kindness we’ve all shown have only been returned with hatred, plots of murder against the man we’ve given our life for. They just killed The Baptizer, the prophet I loved and once followed. Now some want to place my new rabbi to be king and others want to place him on a cross, tearing him in two between a crown and crucifixion.
He is close enough now to recognize clearly that it is He! He who went to a mountain to pray. He who told us to leave him. He who went to mourn for his friend, his cousin, his baptizer.
Did he stumble and fall to his death, or even worse throw himself off and now this is his ghost, coming to take us with him?
Now so close I can hear him call.
...."I AM. Do not be afraid."....
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Jesus next uses the “I AM” phrase (in Greek, Ego eime) in the context of fear. The disciples saw Jesus as He walked on the storm. His response to their fear was “I AM, do not be afraid” (Hebrew Names Version).
From the beginning, sinful humanity's response to a holy God is fear. Adam in Genesis hid himself from God because he was naked and afraid.
Abram was afraid that he would have no heir.
Sarai was afraid when she laughed at God.
Hagar was afraid that her crying son would starve?
Jacob was afraid to go to Egypt even though his long-lost son was there, along with his grandchildren he had never seen.
Moses, Joshua, Gideon, Elijah, even David had times of fear, and each were told "Fear not."
When life throws us in a storm, when God seems distant and even absent from our lives, when confusion seems to be our destination when we once thought we knew for sure where we were heading...
Jesus will walk on the storms of life, and He will provide deliverance.
Years, decades, after the storm had passed, John would write these words, undoubtedly having faced down more fears than the younger version of himself had faced that dark and stormy night.
17Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.18 There is no fear in love; but PERFECT LOVE CASTS OUT FEAR, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us.
His perfect love drives out all fear (1 John 4).
