According to the Baptist Faith and Message, which is a description of what our convention has agreed on that most of our denomination believes, it says the following:
“Christians and the Bible define marriage as the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime. It is God's unique gift to reveal the union between Christ and His church and to provide for the man and the woman in marriage the framework for intimate companionship, the channel of sexual expression according to biblical standards, and the means for procreation of the human race.
“The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. ”
In the Scriptures of old and in society
today, there are sadly few examples as role models for the ideal family of the
home. Jesus described God’s ideal for the family in Matthew 19 after a question
was brought up about the home and marriage.
Read Matthew 19:4-14*
Even the disciples often found Jesus' comments are hard to accept and practice. Do you see grace in the words of Jesus when He says, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given....The one who can accept this should accept it.” ?
How does Jesus' acceptance of children show His value and God's value of children in the home?
Jesus referred back to the beginning as God’s
ideal. But early on, marriages and families had dysfunctions and problems.
As
early as Genesis 4:19, marriages had degenerated to include polygamy
(more than one wife) in the family of Lamech, who was a descendant of godless line
of Cain, who murdered his brother Able.
Lamech himself also murdered a man and
self-proclaimed that no one was to avenge his wicked deeds. Within seven
generations from Adam, the Bible records two murders and a departure from God’s
ideal family of one husband and one wife for life.
As one person said, the
Bible shows people as they are, warts and all.
What can we glean from the fact that the Bible does not record
perfect people nor perfect families?
Abraham, Jacob, David and Solomon all
failed in various ways and not just in their home lives. Their
failures are accurately descriptive
but they are in no way prescriptive!
They do give us hope that God uses imperfect people to accomplish His perfect
plans.
Although there are few examples in the Bible of godliness in the home, the Scriptures give us
instructions for a godly home. Two short but powerful back-to-back chapters in
Psalms speaks to the family of the home.
Read Psalms 127 and 128**
How does Psalm 127 put into proper perspective the balance God seeks
in our time at work (verse 2a), home (verse 1) and rest (verse 2b).
What messages and insights can be seen for parents, husbands, wives,
children and even grandparents and grandchildren in Psalm 128?
By the time of the close of the Old
Testament in 400 B.C., the people of God’s choosing, the nation of Israel, had
almost come full circle in their families. Divorce, polygamy, marriages to spouses
of pagan faiths, disobedient parents and children alike are all depicted in the
pages of the first testament of the Scriptures.
The final
chapter of Ezra (Chapter 10) explained that the priests and people had married
women of other faiths, thus diluting a godly heritage for future offspring. What’s
worse, they tried to make two wrongs equal a right by prescribing divorce to “correct”
the sin of pagan marriage!
In the final book before the New Testament, Malachi the prophet rebukes the priests and people alike for their deviant ways. Malachi, who was a contemporary of Ezra, calls God’s people back
to God’s holiness and His plan for the home. He rebukes the priests, the
people, and the pagan marriages.
Malachi chapter 2 reminds the people that the
home is a partnership for life (verse 14), and parenting is for the protection
for the children (verses 15-16).
Read Malachi chapter 2***
Have you ever heard the phrase "Mist in the pulpit will lead to fog in the pew"? How does that relate to the need for holiness in the spiritual leadership of the people?
What do you find significant about the question "Why?" in Malachi 2:14? Perhaps the most significant thing is not the answer but that God allows us to ask questions of Himself and even gives us the question through the prophet!
Read Malachi 2:16 in various translations. How does God separate the sin from the sinner without separating His love for His people?
*Matthew 19:4-14
4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”
13 Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
**Psalms 127 and 128
1 Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. 2 In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.
3 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him. 4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth. 5 Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court.
Psalm 127
1 Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him.2 You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Yes, this will be the blessing for the man who fears the LORD. 5 May the LORD bless you from Zion; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life.
6 May you live to see your children’s children— peace be on Israel.
Psalm 128
1
“And now, you priests, this warning is for you. 2 If you do not
listen, and if you do not resolve to honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “I
will send a curse on you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already
cursed them, because you have not resolved to honor me.
3
“Because of you I will rebuke your descendants; I will smear on your faces the
dung from your festival sacrifices, and you will be carried off with it. 4
And you will know that I have sent you this warning so that my covenant with
Levi may continue,” says the LORD Almighty. 5 “My covenant was with
him, a covenant of life and peace, and I gave them to him; this called for
reverence and he revered me and stood in awe of my name. 6 True
instruction was in his mouth and nothing false was found on his lips. He walked
with me in peace and uprightness, and turned many from sin.
7
“For the lips of a priest ought to preserve knowledge, because he is the
messenger of the LORD Almighty and people seek instruction from his mouth.
8 But you have turned from the way and by your teaching have caused many
to stumble; you have violated the covenant with Levi,” says the LORD Almighty.
9 “So I have caused you to be despised and humiliated before all the
people, because you have not followed my ways but have shown partiality in
matters of the law.”
10
Do we not all have one Father? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the
covenant of our ancestors by being unfaithful to one another?
11
Judah has been unfaithful. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and
in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves by marrying
women who worship a foreign god. 12 As for the man who does this,
whoever he may be, may the LORD remove him from the tents of Jacob—even though
he brings an offering to the LORD Almighty.
13
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail
because he no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with
pleasure from your hands. 14You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD
is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful
to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant.
15
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what
does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be
unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
16
“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel,
“does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on
your guard, and do not be unfaithful.
17
You have wearied the LORD with your words. “How have we wearied him?” you ask. By
saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased
with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”